Sunday, August 17, 2003

nerds on the net

from this month's harper's
j-dogg is a "highly evolved cybersex denizen"

J-Dogg>Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice, aight?
J-Dogg>Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears27>I slip out of my pants just for you, J-Dogg.
J-Dogg>Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears27>Oh, I like to play dress up.
J-Dogg>Me too baby.
BritneySpears27>I kiss you softly on your chest.
J-Dogg>I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a really beautiful women.
J-Dogg>I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears27>Funny I still don't see it.
J-Dogg>I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears27>You are the worst cybersex partner ever. This is ridiculous.
J-Dogg>Don't fuck with me bitch. I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
J-Dogg>I steal yo soul and cast Lightening Lvl. 1,000,000. Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears27>Don't ever message me again you piece of shiat.
J-Dogg>Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightening shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
J-Dogg>King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnick's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The Cold War ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes it like was cause of him.
J-Dogg>You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.


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