Sunday, July 06, 2003

you know that person

occasionally i step back and wonder where my deep rooted dislike of ann coulter comes from. i know i am not alone, judging by the numerous articles and websites that spend large amounts of time debunking the "blonde bombshell"*.

today, my thoughts drift to a character in the latest installment of harry potter. the character in question is professor umbridge, the mean-spirited defense of the dark arts teacher who has been appointed by the ministry of magic to act as outside invesitgator and general ministry snoop in the affairs of hogwarts. in addition to being a first-class bitch, umbridge hates dumbledore (the headmaster) and harry potter, continually denoucing them for failing to embrace the ministry's party line (hey, sounds kinda familiar).

professor umbridge is constantly trying to consolidate her power and show up all of the faculty at hogwarts, claiming that she can do it better and more by the book. but the worst thing about her is how she is insidious (giving out detentions where students write until they bleed) and yet completely adored by the ministry. umbridge can do no wrong, except that everything she does is wrong. and this is pretty much the crux of it: she's stupid and doesn't understand how the system works, except that she somehow has the ear of the powers that be and thus becomes a legitimate authority figure in the school.

this is the thing that bugs me most about coulter. she's sickly sweet in a psychotic macarthyite kind of way and has convinced millions of americans to take her seriously. [caution h.p. spoiler ahead] of course, in the world of harry potter, professor umbridge ends up being carted off into the woods by extremely angry wizard-hating centaurs. i guess we'll have to wait and see how things play themselves out in america.

*i am sure that at some point coulter has been given this moniker, but like her i am too lazy to look it up. maybe i should try a lexus-nexis search.


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