Monday, October 28, 2002

Reasons why I want to live by myself (or at least not with Amanda)



**If you are Amanda and happen to stumble onto my blog, make sure you read all the way to the end of this entry**



Am posting this list in the hope that I will quit boring people with the tradegies of my home life, since I am sure that these are a) only tradegic to me and b) only moderately interesting after the first time around...



1) I feel judged. I do not go to church. I throw away tupperware that could have been salvaged, despite its containing several day old lukewarm tuna. I would throw away shirts that have holes and are dirty (she would use them as rags). I complain about work. I do not exercise every day. I have a problem with eating spinach that has been sitting in the fridge for two weeks. I do not make purchasing curtains for the windows a high priority.



2) Judgement comes in the form of a look. The "Oh, you don't do things MY way" look. This look is typically followed by an uncomfortable silence. Am not sure if I am supposed to confess my failings and promise to do better.



3) Opinions are passed down as culturally relative truths, not to be debated, only agreed upon. "Don't you think you would get something out of going to church." NO. I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT AND IF YOU KNEW ME AT ALL YOU WOULDN"T ASK ME THAT. Am sick of having it assumed that I automatically agree with everything.



4) Things are not "all good" all of the time. Some people are not chipper and vivacious 24/7. Some of us are not totally happy people. Or, at least we do not feel that we have to be happy people in the safety of our own homes. Jeez.



Talked to Lorina, former roomate, last night. Felt much better about the "good ole days" of functional roomate communication. Lorina laughed, since a lot of the issues I am having are things that she got pissed off at me for last year (although we worked them out, since we actually respect each other as human beings).



It is hard, since I don't hate or even dislike Amanda. She is a very nice person and obviously cares about things that are important to her (many of which are not interesting to me, but I can't help that). I just wish that she would understand that we are different people, and that I am not going to change the way I do things just to please her. Plus, I totally can't read her. We have lived together for 3 months now, and I don't think that I really know who she is/ what makes her tick. She is just so guarded with her feelings. Not to mention extremely passive-agressive. As in, I can tell that she wants to say something during these awkward pauses, but she doesn't (not that I do either, but I don't have too much to say about my throwing out tupperware). Sigh.



Damn, I feel better!

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home